hungover from the party of life

feeling hungover from the party of life?... it happens sometimes... too much party stuff from one side of the party shelf... especially too much consumables... especially if you consume poisons to dull your senses or alter your perception cuz those throw your body and brain into a panic mode and the euphoria is your brain sending out all sorts of chemicals in a mad dash effort to save your body from death ya know?... yeah, i left most of the poison party stuff behind a while back...

don't get me wrong, i tried everything, enjoyed some, but after a decade or more of i decided i enjoyed life with complete access to all senses and mental clarity more than anything else and restrict my poisons overdosing on sugar and caffeine or chocolate or other stuff in the less immediately lethal category... still, the mind and body react and sometimes there is quite a hangover of chemical reactions that leave the mind numb (or headaching) and the body whoozy (or sick)... today, i've got a case of the numb woozy... since i've got nothing to do until tonight i can sit back and enjoy (then run some of it off :)

it was a food party that got me here, in fact, a series of food parties going on for a week or more (amidst a period of weekend or week-long food parties over the past year or so)... i could be mistaken for being pregnant when viewed from the side... laughter can remedy that so feel free to laugh with me... nothing a week of exercise and eating sensibly won't flatten, but the rest of the body might take a month or two to completely recover from the long-term multiple food parties... ah, this party of living needs balance to continue - so it is time to remember how much i enjoy the party of physical exercise... spring softball season is kicking off so i'll have five games a week, at least... and between games, the runner needs to wake up... yeah, gonna get the brain to kick in some adrenaline and endorphins to balance this party of life...

hope you are enjoying your party - only you can do it, ya know? :)

pity the fool

that is to say, is say pity the fool, boy, pay attention son, this is vital information for you (dang boy seems to have cotton in his ears sometimes), i say pity the fool who doesn't enjoy his own pity party... that's right, the party of living includes the occasional pity party (and occasional is the key here as when pity parties happen more than occasionally they are no longer parties, they are wakes cuz they are saying goodbye to the hope that keeps pity parties from happening too often (follow the logic here son, you'll be a happier camper for it) or for too long...

so when you feel yourself feeling sorry for yourself because something in life did not quite go as well as you'd have liked it to have gone or worse, when some tragedy befalls you, just ask yourself this one question... do you feel lucky, punk?... wait, wrong line... ask yourself this one question...

are you ready to die?...

ok, two questions (always be ready for changes, remember)... whether you answer yes or no, the next questions is...

do you want to die?...

if your answer is yes to both, before dying, talk to anyone around you... if you have a spouse or loved on or children or any family who might care, talk to them... if you don't have any personal caring in your life (and you might if you really think about it even when you think you don't), then talk to a nearby professional life saver which would be a hospital or first responder type of professional... they might change your mind, but if you don't want to change your mind, at least you will have double checked with someone who cares, personally or professionally...

try not to make too big a mess...

if your answer is yes to either question, then cry... yes, cry... yell, rant, scream, jump up and down, punch a heavy bag (gym work boy, gym work can do wonders) over the tragedy and find a way to enjoy life again... start by asking yourself why not, cuz you did say no to one of the two questions... your reason for wanting not to die is in that answer, why not?...

and get creative when you have to... but simply do it... cry... remember your answers and do it... cry... throw the best pity party you can throw... get the stuff that helps (comfort foods often help... or music or something that won't kill you cuz remember, your answer was no to one of the two questions)...

i usually set my alarm for a few days and when the alarm goes off i remember my answers and return to the party of living that is not all about poor me and sadness... if you don't see a way out, find that first responder professional and talk about it... you don't want to be stuck in limbo, son, trust me... take a look around, out there in the world... focus on the party that is smiling all around (between the fears, it's there, you just need to be open to it)... and then, the bigger party overwhelms the pity party and life goes on with me in it, which is usually more fun than the solitary pity party... it works if you want it do...

or something like that :)

so much more

i refer, if you must know, to the plethora of other places into which i pour words (and links and videos and music and so on {with some so forth too} and on) because, if you must know, there are a myriad of moments that span the spectrum of emotional splendor (and not just in the grass) and, in case you didn't know, the roller coaster that spins and zips and circles and rises and falls and zowadoos through every possible emotional experience life can possible offer (which is mostly infinite)is the point and the ultimate party of living (and someday i may have already or will, even, tell you all about it, or link or hint {which is close, but a different cigar} at where the full rainbow beyond the visible light frequencies {and kenneth} might be found, but for now, look around on your own)...

alone, the party is amazing in and of itself when you open your mind to the infinity of everything (life and the universe too) and shared, it is virtually unbelievable, which is why i long to share it all (and i mean all) once again... not too many people i've met can actually do that (any?) so i enjoy the amazing as i what?... oh yeah, wait (and laugh at myself and the wonders of this experience we appear to call life)... lol one never knows, do one (where the winds of chance might be blowing an answer or few, i mean, in case you wanted to know... sometimes the bullsugar is worth more than the all the rest combined (slowly, i turn... where the rest is stored, that is) and when you think the tweets are enough, good grief charlie brown, you've forgotten the art of tripping the lights (but that's a horse of a different... memories, like the corners of your mind?)...

so this is what it comes to (or goes down as) in the end (or at least for the moment)... and until the next moment (or your arrival), survival ensues...

party on, my hearties :)

narf :)

such a dork, aye?

who, me?... what me dorky?... yeah, i know i don't come around here nearly as much as i oughta but hey, there's a party going on in a million other places (what?... did i just give something away?... kinda like what i do most, if you know me at all, so laugh or puzzle at your own choice) and this place is like the anteroom or some such exit on the supernova highway of cyberlife where i slide for a breather in a moment of solitude between the celebrations and crowds so thank you for stopping by and if you understand (or want to) then feel free to call and pose your queries or just join in the festivities cuz that is what it is all about (hokey pokey and all... narf :)

yeah, narf :)

how much i believe this to be true

cuz i want to tell the world
how happy i am to be alive
i want you all to know
we do so much more than merely survive
and it may sound cliché to say
how much life means to me
but if you only knew what i’ve been through
you would understand how i see

and i want to tell the world
how wonderful it feels to breathe
i wish you all could know
the experience of learning to seethe
with hopeful inspiration
found in each moment, now
if you only opened your heart and mind
you would know that you always knew how

the moment you opened your eyes
the world was amazing to you
everything was such a surprise
every step was learning something new
and that perspective is still there
like a rainbow inside of you
if you’d only set yourself free
there is no limit to what you can do

and i want to tell the world
how much i believe this to be true
but most of all i want to tell the world
how much i love you